Thoughts on Guberus Separating the Consumer Herd From Their Money

by splork on September 7, 2013

My humble greetings to all top hats and garters. It has been a tumultuous week or so within the hallowed halls of Lost Ball. Decorum was summarily suspended as the decorations took their baffling French leave. A thorough management review was initiated which resulted in a change of stewardship. We are optimistic that the future direction of this honored vessel will return to its former glory.

Prior to the debacle, I had begun taking notes about something that has continued to rile my sensibilities. As Google has mostly closed shop to the small time Internet marketers, I have studied with interest how the guberus have adjusted to this reality and continue to successfully separate a desperate man from his money.

Have you ever wondered why you never read about the successes of a guberu product offering after it’s released? When you are presented with the salespage you may read through tens of praising “reviews”. Many are from the bots who received evaluation copies of said product and in return promise to provide a review. I have never, not once, ever, read a disparaging pre-release review. Not on Warrior Forum Special Offers, not on Clickbank, not anywhere.

Have you ever returned to check out the salespage or forum listing of the product that was offered? One might think that if the product was so incredible that post after post after page would list those buyers who are now 5 figure earners.

Have you ever read about anyone ever achieving 5 figure bliss after purchasing a product promising 5 figure bliss? Maybe you have. Maybe it was you. In the 8 years or so participating in this garbage I have yet to uncover a single announcement.

Perhaps the achievers are simply shy. Not likely given the absolute narcissism dripping through this business. I can count on two fingers the number of guru-types who have made money and kept quiet about their experience.

The vast preponderance of Internet marketing is to keep selling you shit, offer after shitty offer. I am so tired of “the money is in the list” which to 98% of marketers is a soft license to sell crap after crap.

Marketers rely on the numbers. Out of 10,000 emails only 5% are bored enough to read the thing. 3% are going to click into the offer and only 1% will buy. So they sell 100. Do you really think these people care a bit about the product? Do you think they use it themselves? They just made 50-75% on the sale. Do that enough times over a couple lists and you are rolling in cash that you do nothing to generate except outsource an email.

You can see just how valuable these people find their own products based on the offers I receive from them for their circle jerk buddies. I buy a product from you, why are you pimping me each week with some other get rich product?

The best products I have ever bought were from someone who continued to encourage you with the product they created and you bought. They hardly ever tried to sell me something after I bought their product. If they did it was something they thought might help me utilize their product better. Not chase another shiny object in another make money scheme. Dig?

IM consumers are idiots. These guberus are laughing all the way to the bank. Why? Because they are desperate to make money. They will buy anything as long as it is $27 $17 $9.95. And the WSO’s are flying out of the forum. Simply amazing. They use their pathetic $9.95 product as a loss leader to get 20-30% to buy their equally shitty upsells. It’s a delightfully scummy operation that folks are falling over themselves to lick up. And then they get on an email list and continue the monthly purchases.

Please wake up. Please stop buying WSO’s and IM products. I’ve consumed my share but I am suggesting that you simply stop.

If you want to create a successful online property, contact someone that is doing well and see if you can apprentice and learn the craft. Ask for help. Ask them how they achieved success. Bet it wasn’t from a damn ebook or software package. There are a quite a few generous people out there. Replicate their success.

I realize that people keep saying to create and sell your own product. That’s groovy. But it irks me that the crappy product some guberu supposedly create are nothing but a ticket to ride in the circle jerk of product promotion. I get it. Plenty of money to made in there. I just don’t care to participate in it nor do I think people should waste their money on the products that are pimped in there.

Go ahead. Create products with honor. That’s amazing. But don’t create products simply to hustle other people’s products. I think it’s a scummy way to operate. And frankly I’m tired of the circle jerk. And the bottom line is I just think most IM products are crap. Frankly, the more fabulous the salespage looks and reads the more suspect the offer is.

I’ll concede 10% is worthwhile. Good luck finding them, bruh.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Michael September 13, 2013 at 12:34 pm

Great post, Splork. Glad you fixed the site again, again….

Also tired of the circle jerk. And I HIGHLY agree with your observation that it feels slimey to receive new shiny offer after offer from the very person who sold you THEIR great offer in the first place. They must hate people with ADHD or something.


Jon September 16, 2013 at 12:59 am

Concise and straight to the point. I’ve bought useless products before and learned my lesson well. Now I only buy from respective sellers going to WSO to give discounts and actual link building services where you can see the reports of y our links. Other than that, everything are worthless.

It doesn’t seem to have logic when a noob turned millionaire will start selling his eBook for $9.99 sharing his/her secrets. Then you will discover that eBook being shared freely in blackhat forums and torrents and realize that you’ve just wasted your hard earned money.

Try searching in Google the title of eBooks being sold in WSO, you might get lucky and find it for free and hopefully it will make you a millionaire.

Another great post Splork ~ glad to see your vessel fixed and floating once again into the web sewers.


hamid October 3, 2013 at 5:28 am

hello splork i hope you are doing well in IM.
you have said :”contact someone that is doing well and see if you can apprentice and learn the craft. Ask for help. Ask them how they achieved success. ” then why not learning the craft from you it seems you are generous men. and tell me please if this process is correct to make money online:
1. finding a niche that is profitable which means with more searches and the people in this niche spends there money to perchase from the internet.
2. finding a new product(preferably in the launch) in your niche to promote.
3. finding the free techniques to funnel traffic to your website using,, tumbler, twitter, facebook, youtube.
and stay away from paid advertising.
Most people including me are struggling for a long time to make money online and IM guru didn’t stop lying.
i apologize my english speech.

your help splork will be very appreciated



Milker January 26, 2014 at 7:10 pm

Griz: “just how much can a noob be milked for anyway?” lol. Rock on.


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