Google Can Suck It While I Enjoy

by splork on December 16, 2013

As you may know if you’ve spent any time perusing the well placed collection of words on this electronic pamphlet, I do not care for Google at all. Their malevolent attempts at controlling the gates to and revenue from the Internet repulse me. I endeavor to do all I can not to participate in their party.

I utilize free email. I have had a couple of Yahoo email accounts since the mid 90’s. I was happy with the arrangement of having one email address for information that I deemed worthy of my eyeballs to analyze and another that I could fill with spamtastic offerings. Unfortunately Yahoo changed the code of their email program and turned it into a slow and disgusting correspondence collector. I made the dissatisfying decision to redirect email I cared about into a Gmail account about a year or so ago.

I did not care for Gmail but I was able to mostly reconfigure it to operate much in the same way I was used to in Yahoo before their idiotic change.

This weekend I made the discovery that Microsoft would very much like my email business. Within their website they have created a very nice assortment of programs that I find extremely useful. For those wanting to remove themselves from Gmail they have a created a splendid tool to scrape all the email from Gmail and deposit them onto an account of your choosing. The hilarious beauty of this operation is that they give you instructions to forward email from your Gmail account to your account.

The email interface is simple and, yes I’ll say it, modern. It’s what Yahoo used to be and what Google wants you to think they are.

They also provide you with space in their Skydrive. Cloud storage. Meh. Whatever. What is pretty awesome though is that with this comes access to Word, Excel and Powerpoint, for free, right there in Skydrive. Damn awesome if you ask me. Sure Google has Docs. But come on, really? You would choose Docs over Office if both are free? Please.

So is Microsoft somehow morally righteous compared to the Internet’s Death Star? Hell no. Microsoft used to be the evil force but they now have so much competition they can’t keep their heads twisted on. I like that Microsoft in certain aspects is getting a little spunky. Their Windows Phone is freaking awesome but can’t get traction. Hell even I have an Android if only because of the apps. Drop a few of my favorites on Windows and I’ll be joining my wife with a cool Nokia camera phone.

I’ve had an Android tablet for a couple years now. Certainly before they were cool and everyone was getting an iPad. See, at that time I thought Apple was the bigger asshole. Now I’m pulling for the underdog, the Windows tablet which will overtake the rest eventually. When my tablet breaks I’ll be getting a Windows tablet with full Windows 8.1.

I make sure never to utilize Google’s search engine. They will not collect that search information from me. I happily use DuckDuckGo and Startpage for my research efforts and Bing for Video and Photo searches. I still don’t know what the fuck Google+ is.

It’s very difficult to completely divorce yourself from the Internet’s sewage regulator. I spend a good amount of time watching various instructional videos on the Internet. It just so happens most are posted on You Tube. I subscribe to channels and confess to visiting them pretty much every day. I feel conflicted because I know some of the folks I subscribe to are hoping to reap a bounty of Adsense coins from the ads appearing on the videos but I quickly “skip” them as soon as I can. I don’t know how rev sharing works on videos but I’m pretty sure I’m not helping. Nothing personal I just despise Google bro.

And this is all small potatoes as it were, my friends. Google is developing a self driving car. They just bought Boston Dynamics a company that makes fast running robots. And yes BD gets paid by DARPA which is the Pentagon’s research arm. Why wouldn’t the most evil Internet company not want to siphon off taxpayer money via the military industrial complex funded by the United States government?

Nay, Google can suck it. The lesser evil in my view is Microsoft and frankly many of their offerings are far superior. Start with email and see what I mean.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

splork December 17, 2013 at 9:18 am
Jon December 18, 2013 at 6:18 am

Thank you for the update Splork!

Google now is all about the money and they are forcing small businesses to use adsense… tsk tsk the reason they wiped out small niche sites that give more information against big sites that don’t give thorough and detailed information.

It’s not about those updates or anything, some search results now sucks. Giving information entirely irrelevant from what you are searching. And no matter what you do, a simple niche site won’t rank, damn I’ve tested it and it doesn’t really work.

Keep em coming buddy ~ Thanks!


Ham December 18, 2013 at 10:12 am

Thank you for the Help Splork!

Do you write about celebrities that have a hot trends to link back from your’s blog to your website?

About the videos you post on your blogs, do you use the popular ones from youtube?

About the images you post on your blogs, do you use also the popular ones from flickr?

Upset to get traffic to my website, Any help will be very appreciated.




splork December 19, 2013 at 8:09 pm

@Ham – I post photos and make snarky comments. I don’t use flickr. I scrape photos from frankly anywhere. I post them on free blogs. Anything really that I don’t own. If I get a cease and desist, not likely because the blogs aren’t commercial, I just shut it down and build another.


Ham December 20, 2013 at 12:42 pm

Thanks splork, you are really very helpful.

How do you link back to your website on blogs in order to get traffic?
Do you use a link in the side bar or within the post?




Jez January 4, 2014 at 5:32 pm

Funny reading this as I have decided to move over to outlook too.

I have been with Gmail since I dunno 2005 or something, when it was invite only.

I started getting unsavoury ads targeted at me on youtube which have nothing to do with any search I have ever made, I am guessing it was done using my sex / DOB handed over to Gmail.

When i go to youtube whilst logged into gmail they try to force me to show my name or some other identity… I just want to view a video… Tho I generally think Vimeo has much better quality stuff on it.

The contacts on my phone were sucked in from other services, no doubt I clicked “ok” without thinking about something… But now my phone contacts list is full of people i dont know.

There is a video on YouTube where Larry Page is giving a presentation / talk with q&a, he says they want to know:

Who you are
Where you are
What you are doing
Who you are with

In another video he implies we should hand over our medical records.

I am leaving Gmail.
My kids will not be using it either.

Like you I used to think MS were the Devil and Giggle the good guys., particularly after the IE Netscape thing. Now I abhor Google and am also warming to MS.

How times change.

Google are often described as being orwellian with reference to 1984, But in this case I think Animal Farm would be more apt… Bill Gates the Farmer, Larry and Sergie the Pigs.


splork January 4, 2014 at 6:48 pm

@Jez – Exactly my thoughts. I’ve enjoyed Outlook the last month or so. The email is clean and easy to setup and use. Happy to ditch Yahoo Mail and Gmail. I’m not excited that it is MS as you never really know how secure it is with their over eager compliance to the US government but for average email, newsletters and such that gives up little to the NSA it is far better than Y and G.


Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: