Eating Cheese on My Summer Raft

by splork on July 12, 2012

This post is not likely to be entertaining or informative. More of a confirmation that I am indeed on the right side of the ground. I’ve really got nothing to bitch about. I love summer. Really the last thing I feel much like doing is sitting in front of a computer and creating shit for people to click. Many of you would have a hardy laugh if you could see my domain account from 2004 and compare it to today. I gave up my Hostgator account this month. I’m just not much of a website player any more. Seems fucking silly to buy a domain and build a WordPress franken-site on some micro niche product. Especially when you can blast one out in 30 minutes on Squidoo.

I’ve been enjoying myself on Squidoo. Just last night I had my latest lens effort make the front page. Yep, when you surf over to Squidoo at this moment my lens will be featured as one of those that rotate through the front page. I’ve wasted your time in other posts about Squidoo but suffice to say you gotta participate if you want to succeed. Yea the Quests and likes and comments and polls and all that other shit are cheesy. But it’s what gets your dinky lens on the front page of Squidoo.

Pinterest is a phenom. It is the easiest way I’ve seen in years to get traffic to your site. Pinterest is a click-tastic orgy. A great way to get people to visit your contribution to the web sewage all the while giving Google a stiff middle finger. Stuff a cool photo from your Squidoo page and you’ve got the chance for glory.

I’ve managed to ignore the guberus and their insipid pimp machines. For the most part. But I have been enjoying one of their latest gambits for fleecing fuckers out of their PayPal balances. Curation. Oh. Yea. The latest buzzword among the affiliate marketer elite.

Typically you might find the guberus in front of money making ideas. They were there building software to create shitty little sites to rank fast and high in Google. They were creating the means to sling your links far and wide into the web sewage. They were building spam-tastic article generation and delivery systems.

But curation got in front of them. In their zeal for spamming the web they over-looked sharing and building upon real content. What? Share someone else’s link? Are you fucking kidding? Drudge Report has been curating information from the start. Million dollar enterprise with the simplest of business models.

Now I see everyone talking about curation and fewer still doing it correctly. Mostly because people are lazy and instead of curation they are scraping. Mostly because people hate to write. But it’s fun to watch people give it a go and lose interest after a couple of months. The Warrior Forum will offer something else shiny to keep them going.

Times have changed. I enjoy watching the circus. My raft floats above the stench emanating from the depths of the web sewer. I steer my vessel through the misty fog while avoiding the outcrops of rocky exposure that spelled doom to those less wary. My cloak protects and warms me as I see the sallow faces looking up from their ghostly tombs as I gently float among the destruction. My mustache stiff against the wind, I twirl my beard with one hand while leaning mightily on my staff with the other. I am the web sewer magician.

{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

Stephen King July 12, 2012 at 11:38 pm

I think I’m going to purge myself of many of my web sewer storm drains which are getting clogged with the flotsam of Google’s effluence.

About 3 years ago I stopped writing fiction because my novels just weren’t selling and I started spinning spam, green eggs and ham on the Interwebs.

Now that feels like a lost journey circling a fog swamp with soft lumpy turds that have caked on my fine hiking boots.

Lately I’ve gone back to scribbling with 1s and 0s and telling stories about heroes and foes. Still not making much with it, but the trickle of silver coin that reaches me from the great Amazonian river is enough.

But more than that I’m happier in years playing make believe in my mind that I whittle down on the spine of a Kindling vine than I ever was drowning in the Giggle sewer and stench.

I’m just a slow learner I guess :)


Robert Brents July 13, 2012 at 2:20 am

The chief cause of questions is answers. Case in point: “I gave up my Hostgator account this month.” … Then where is this blog hosted? (P.S. I like the Thesis theme too.)

Another brilliant flash of web sewage inspiration: You should write an ebook on How to Make Zillions on Squidoo in Your Tidy Whities! Should be worth at least $397 – no. $197 – no. $97 – no. $47 – yeah!


Mitch July 13, 2012 at 3:20 am

That really would be the way to swap out your raft for a ship of sails. A Squidoo product by a web sewer magician would attract those Warrior Forum idiots like flies to the stench of your sewer soaked boots.

I absolutely love the picture you paint of the web sewer magician. The picture above resembles nothing of the vision I take from your writing. I have the magician pictured as riverboat gambling gentlemen… top hat, vested tails, cufflinks, and of course a time piece that chains to his belt. He sips bourbon from a lowball glass and smokes nothing but the finest of cigars… and I guess he is also a bad ass over at Squidoo.

Good work Splork.


Tao July 13, 2012 at 9:17 am

I always look forward to the latest insane ramblings from the hip that Splork delivers.

I also love the way that you stick to what works for you! Squidoo is a great way to make money, but only if you play their game unfortunately.


Ben July 13, 2012 at 9:19 am

Please reassure me that your lens has nothing to do with Polka Dots! The Squidoo front page is full of them today.

Keep twirling the ‘tache


Seth July 13, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Please, please, please explain to me what content curation is. I feel like an idiot but nowhere can I find an explanation of what it is that I understand. I seem to be the last to catch on as all these new words and social crap sites are leaving an old school guy like me in the dust.


Ben July 13, 2012 at 1:25 pm


This is a good an explanation as any:



splork July 13, 2012 at 1:22 pm

@Stephen – Yea, Kindle seems to be a reasonable gig. I’ve been much too lazy personally to write for the operation. It is definitely on my to-do list.


splork July 13, 2012 at 1:31 pm

@Robert – Affilorama was the first IM membership/product I ever bought. I jumped in for some reason when it was a one time fee and got grandfathered in when it changed to premium. As a member you get free web hosting of 15 sites. I have an additional 5 slots for membership in AffiloBlueprint. It’s enough for what I’m doing these days.

Yea, I’m sure I could sell a couple of Squidoo ebooks, but I would hate myself. Shit is too easy to be pimping ebooks. I guarantee there is no one tactic that will give you success. You just have to fling stuff out, play their game and out of 10 lenses maybe a few will be worth a crap.


splork July 13, 2012 at 1:44 pm

@Mitch – when we descend into the web sewers we take the mystical form of a wizened old magician. It is best to enter silently and draw little attention while making keen observances. When we gather above to discuss other things we regale ourselves in the finest attire replete with a polished mustache, top hat and expensive cigar. For instance when visiting Lost Ball it is understood that you will dress yourself and act accordingly as only a gentleman/gentlewoman would. The web sewers is no place for a riverboat.


splork July 13, 2012 at 1:49 pm

@Tao – these ramblings are indeed ridiculous.
Squidoo can make money but it is frankly rather difficult. I play their games, which I rather enjoy sometimes I must admit. But the real money comes when I happen upon a lens that gets picked up in Pinterest/Twitter/Google with a product that I’m pimping out via an affiliate program. Think costumes, shoes, posters, electronics, etc. Some do well, most do not. Such is the nature of this racket.


splork July 13, 2012 at 1:52 pm

@Ben – Awww man. You can’t be hating on polka dots.


splork July 13, 2012 at 2:09 pm

@Seth – curation is just where you take someone else’s content and add it to your own commentary. Lots of political sites do this to share information and make their points while referencing other material. As an example check out what does. They make a comment about a topic then reference a website or quote. Always giving credit back to the site.

Dire sites such as or do a fantastic job of curating tons of information into one post.

Just think of it terms of sharing information from other sources via links or direct quotes, videos then writing your own commentary. It’s a great way of creating unique content that is useful. And it’s damn easy to do too.

Hope that helps.


Seth July 13, 2012 at 4:55 pm


Thanks for the explanation. You know I wish I could write like Michael from those two “dire” sites but organizing and finding all that material he references seems like a real chore. I guess I should start out small and then build up.

I’m burned out on IM but I do wish I had the patience/talent/knowledge to do what he does. I thought you could do something like that with Lipskip but you never went that route.


splork July 13, 2012 at 8:51 pm

@Seth – I dropped that domain and began ranting…and curating at
It’s free and you get to piggyback off a strong domain. He puts you in his blog network then you are entered in the “game”. I’m at V.P. level which is cool I guess. Dunno what that means really.

You can always give it a try on Tumblr or Blogger. Just start sharing info on a topic you like. Could be anything: knives. cars. caves. chewing gum. Set up some Google alerts to find information each day. If something interests you, comment on it and paste some quotes on your site. You can monetize it as normal. Throw some videos on there for kicks too.


Seth July 13, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Thanks. I just watched the “Most Arrogant Man In The World” video for the first time. LOL. So true.


Denise July 13, 2012 at 10:09 pm

The one day I’m not on Squidoo and you make the front page. Go figure!
I’ve let most of my domains go also. Sick of the updating. When I want to get into some niche I just use Squidoo also. The 6$ payment I just received is more than I make off most of my domains anyway.
Hope you are getting in some biking this summer.
My daughter did The Big Frog this spring with a single speed. She is crazy. Didn’t place at the top but she finished. She also did the Lumberjack 100 here in Michigan with her single speed also.
We were all planing to do the Iceman Cometh but I chickened out. I just be morale support for the grand kids.
Sorry this is so long, but haven’t been here for a while.
Enjoy your summer and catch you later.


Moses July 14, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Hi Splork,
I love the way u write your pieces. I used to read them for fun a while back but of late I have realised that you drop gems of wisdom as you go along. You made me think of squidoo in a whole new light.
Could you please provide a great site that guides one on how to succeed with squidoo including how to go about monetizing them. I would appreciate much.


splork July 14, 2012 at 9:45 pm

@Denise – Thanks for visiting. Yea, I have a few Squidoo accounts, which is kinda stupid and another story, but got my deposits into PayPal. Rather satisfying.

I rode my usual century in May and have been coasting this summer. I’ll ride the weekend and do a training ride or two during the week. Haven’t decided if I will do another event this season though.

Single speed riding is indeed crazy. Old school. Reminds me of my first bikes.


Denise July 19, 2012 at 12:09 am

Actually she just had a brand new bike turned into a single speed. Single speed not for me either. I want all the gears i can get. I can’t imagine spending thousands on a bike and then making it into a single speed. I only wish I had half the power her legs do.


splork July 14, 2012 at 11:08 pm

@Moses – Thanks for reading. I wouldn’t suggest buying any guide or anything for Squidoo. Go to the site and surf the best lenses in the various categories. Go to Squidoo HQ and read the articles on creating good lenses. They have articles on getting traffic and monetizing. Look at the sites on the front page particularly the lens of the day. Do what they are doing. Take advantage of Pinterest, Facebook and Twitter to promote your lens. Maybe write a Tumblr blog and paste your link in. Go to and ping your lens when you update it. Expect most of your lens not to be a huge success. Every once in a while you’ll hit it big. Keep updating them. Don’t let them languish. If nothing else move a module around and add a new tag. Publish it to refresh it. Then go ping it again.


Hamish July 16, 2012 at 9:45 am

Weird – I got onto the first page last week also. Been doing various quests and stuff lately – need to find some way to fill the time I used to spend getting backlinks!

It’s amazing what a difference it makes – and how addictive it can be. Cheesy yes – but also fun.

Getting just one lens onto page one has dragged about another 7 or 8 lenses up in the rankings so I should get a better share of their Squid slush fund next time round. I’ll be interested to see how much extra I make.

Most visits as a result of getting highlighted do seem to be from inside Squidoo – so not sure if there will be any extra sales from Amazon or not.


Brett July 16, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Great post as always Splork!

One of my Internet buddies started a blog this year, and he now has 249 Facebook fans. These are real fans, not Fiverr bought fans.

His blog must be getting decent traffic as well, even if it does look like a piece of shit. Doesn’t he know the Thesis theme is only $87? Lol.

So what has he done? He simply blogs about photos of stuff in our niche. He owns this widget, he’s passionate about it, and he’s getting noticed. Never mind his pillaging of other people’s content. Check out the Daily Mail – they do this. They buy a photo of a Kardashian in a swimsuit, write 250 words of crap and it brings in millions of daily visitors.

Me? I’m going down the membership site route this year. It’s harder than I expected. You need time, money, and a brain. That’s great, because the fools on the Warrior Forum won’t easily be able to replicate my ideas. Your post has also lit a lightbulb in my head. I need to “curate” my members, because membership sites are full of shitheads and lowlifes, but if I can curate my own content better than my competitors then my brand (and yes, I now have a brand) will become very popular indeed.


Darius Copernicus July 30, 2012 at 6:09 pm

I have been curating content on Pinterest for several months and now some photographer is demanding several thousands of dollars for copyright infringement for a repin, of all things. My attorneys recommend that I settle, predicting that a court will not rule in my favor. I had attributed the image to the photographer, and added a disclaimer on my account “no copyright intended” but that protected me none.

I’m officially out of the curation business.


splork July 31, 2012 at 2:07 am

@Darius – unbelievable. I’m surprised they didn’t first give you a cease and desist and give you a chance to remove the offending photo. How did they get your name anyway? I try to be anonymous as possible on these social sites.


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